So far i’m starting to work on my third draft. The first draft i felt pretty confident writing the body paragraph were fine. I believe i wasn’t fully focus and pay deep attention to the mistakes i made throughout my essay that cause a bit of confusion with my second paragraph . Going to my second draft it kind threw me off and made me want to restart my essay realizing all of the mistakes after rereading. I think the second draft was a rush for me, not that i wasn’t enough time but i think it just made me bit confused on what to fix. While starting with my third/ final draft i realized i don’t necessary have to restart but try to at least add more into my body paragraphs, i felt like it could improve a lot based off some comment i received. It is challenging to revise some mistakes because i felt like it wouldn’t be understanding. In addition i feel like i’m having a hard time analyzing more, an example is by expanding my wording. Overall, some simple things to fix is going okay like punctuation, grammar, etc.

First off, i want to start with adding more into my introduction and conclusion, by giving more background information to give the audience some details to know what i’ll be including in my essay. But i think it best to start by going on to the body paragraphs, some comments were mention on how i should add more statements based of the articles because it seems to be that i give more examples about my opinion and experiences rather than giving the articles points and examples. I believe that there are some transition words that could be added and fixed. The conclusion covers everything, but i believe i could add some final touch and opinion to summarize it all up.

The feedbacks i received back towards my second draft were understandable. I see where my classmate were coming from when i bring out my examples and not the articles as much. What’s holding me back is when i have to expand an annotation, i usually comfortable with having to discussion something quick and short. In addition an idea i have in mind is to add more analyzing in the quotes i’ve used and try to connect more ideas in the articles to give a better example.